New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
