dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
