Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
