Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
