I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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