in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
