..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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