he wants to bone in the snuggie
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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