So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
