he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
