Where is the hickey?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize