What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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