Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
