he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
