he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Never joke about your clitoris.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
