some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
