i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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