at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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