the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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