hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
