yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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