My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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