i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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