We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
