i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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