All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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