So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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