brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
