chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
