my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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