You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Vodka?
Forever.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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