I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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