R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize