my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
