...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize