I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize