I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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