I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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