reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
