i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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