I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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