I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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