If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
