She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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