I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
