Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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