Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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