so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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