can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize