i think my tv is drunk
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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