she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
