I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
