shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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