vagina is talking i cant
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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