ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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