just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
