Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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