Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
