I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
