they need to just BURY HIM!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize